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Finally - A Retired Lt Col Tells The Truth About Ft. Hood and the Terrorist Shooter
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SM - MILITARY EQUIPMENT - ARMORED VEHICLES - TANKS - HUMVEES - ARTILLERY - BIG GUNS
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Strange Survey
ARE WE WINNING THE WAR IN AFGHANISTAN?
 NO - IT'S A QUAGMIRE!
 WE NEED MORE TROOPS
 YES - BUT WE SHOULD BE MORE AGGRESSIVE
 YES - NO ONE SAID IT WOULD BE EASY
 
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- Application To Live In New Jersey

Application To Live In New Jersey:


Name: _____________________________

Nickname: _____________________________

Address: _____________________________

Exit # (NJ Turnpike): _______

Exit # (Garden State Parkway): _______

Ethnic Background:
___Italian ___Sicilian ___Jewish ___Italian ___Italian

Profession:
___Mechanic ___Truckdriver ___Meatpacker ___Dockworker ___Hairdresser ___Manacurist ___Avon Sales Lady ___Waitress @ Bennigan's___Exotic Dancer

Backyard Smells Like:
___Sewage ___Sulfur ___Garbage ___All 3

# of Muscle Shirts Owned:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

# of Bon Jovi Tour Shirts Owned:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

# of Bon Jovi Shirts That are Also Muscle Shirts:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Brand of Jeans Preferred:
___Sergio Valente ___Jordache ___Sassoon ___Z.Cavaricci

Percentage of Wardrobe Which is Skintight:
___100% ___95-100% ___90-95% ___85-90%

# of Gold Chains Owned:
___10-15 ___15-20 ___20-25 ___25 and above

# of Gold Chains Worn at One Time:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Approximate Value of ALL jewelry:
___$5-$10 ___$10-$15 ___$15-$20 ___Stolen

Number of Applications of Obsession/Polo/Drakar Before Going Out:
___10-15 ___15-25 ___25 and above

Gold Cap on at Least One Tooth?
___Yes ___No

Hair Height (must be completed by applicants seeking residency in Edgewater or Bayonne)
___6-8 inches ___8-12 inches ___1-2 feet___More than 2 feet

Hair Products Used:
___Hair Spray ___Styling Gel ___Mouse ___Extra

Hold Styling Gel:
___Bondo ___Spackle ___40 Weight Oil ___Krazy Glue

Automobile Owned:
___IROC Z ___Firebird ___Camaro___Mustang___Thunderbird

Number of Inches Car is Off the Ground:
___6-8 inches ___4-6 inches ___2-4 inches ___Under 2 inches

Car Paraphernalia:
___Gold chain around license plate
___Neon lights around license plate
___Neon lights under car
___Chippendales/Playboy air freshener hanging on rear view mirror
___Garter hanging from rear view mirror
___Chrome hubcaps
___Stick-on window tinting
___Stick-on paint splash stickers
___Fuzzy dice TATTOO
___Crown deodorizer on dash or in rear window

Favorite Sports Team:
___Fuckin' Giants
___Fuckin' Jets
___Fuckin' Mets
___Fuckin' Yankees
___Fuckin' Nets
___Fuckin' Knicks
___Fuckin' Devils
___Fuckin' Rangers
___Fuckin' Islanders



Favorite Music:
___Techno ___Rap ___Bon Jovi ___Bruce Springsteen

Favorite Actor/Actress:
___Joe Pesci ___Robert DeNiro ___Al Pacino ___Marisa Tomei___Annette Funicello ___Anna Magnani

Favorite Movie:
___The Godfather ___The Godfather Part II ___The Godfather Part III___Goodfellas ___My Cousin Vinnie

Favorite Profanity (proceeded by YO!):
___Motherfucker ___Cocksucker ___Jerkoff ___Scumbag ___Douche Bag

# of Religious Statutes at Grandparents House:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Relatives Named "Sal"
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Favorite International Destination:
___Belmar ___Seaside Heights ___Point Pleasant ___Bayonne ___Great Adventure ___Secaucus

Favorite Driving Technique
___Tailgating
___Attacking stop signs
___Doing 106 mph on the right shoulder of the parkway
___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (non-related)
___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (own grandparents)

Submitted by our Pal John V.






 

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